Fire Ants Can't Drown

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Zillionaire Ann Romney Doesn't Consider Herself Rich

Haha. The Romneys are so bad at this not-looking-super-out-of-touch thing. On the other hand, it is kind of annoying that various news sources aren't mentioning the full context of what she's saying.

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Grizzlies Overcome 16 Point Lead/Are Badasses

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Guide to Moving to Better Seats in Stadiums

Hahaha. nice.

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Nerd Rage Rap

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Funny Short Video About Token Minorities

IT IS FUNNY, BRAH.

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D.C. Area Woman--Secretary by Day, King by Night

A Washington D.C. area woman, who works as a secretary, has recently been named king of a Ghanan village.

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Wrongfully Convicted Prisoners Now Millionaires

Exonerees, especially from Texas, are now finding life easier to cope with due to generous measures provided by the state.

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Disney Buys Marvel Comics for Four Billion

Remember when Marvel was close to bankruptcy about a decade ago? Man. I was seriously thinking of buying Marvel stock back then. On a whim.

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Shirtless Crazy Man Hijacks Atlanta School Bus

When they finally got him, all he had on was a condom. Lolz.

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Obese Texas Inmate Hides Gun in Rolls of Fat

"HOUSTON (Aug. 8 ) -- An obese inmate in Texas has been charged after officials learned he had a gun hidden under flabs of his own flesh."

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32 Stories, 1 Tenant: Economic Crisis Renders Florida Highrise Ghost-Hauntingly Lonely

Lawsuits. Some contracts that locked them into a deal involving their whole life savings. Blah blah blah. It's sad. Honestly, I don't know why people don't just break in and live there without anyone knowing. It's 32 stories. And it's one family guarding it all.

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Woody Allen and Larry David: The Evolution (Death?) of Jewish Comedy

A neat article about so-called "Jewish" comedy over the years. Coincides with the release of Woody Allen's new "Whatever Works".

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NBA Acknowledges Foul in Officiating at End of Nuggets-Mavs Game Three

At the end of game three, Mavs guard Antoine Wright bumped Carmelo Anthony twice in an attempt to obtain a foul to stop play. Anthony made a three point shot that basically sealed the game for the Nuggets.

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Tree Grows from Inside Man's Lung

A small five inch fir tree was found growing inside a man's lungs.

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Sarah Palin Supports Spousal Abuse?--Warning: Loaded Headline

Palin recently nominated a far-right supporter who once said "If a man can't rape his wife, who's he gonna rape?" If she runs in 2012, I'll love it. Just to see crazy @!$%# like this.

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Thief Swipes 83-Year-Old Woman's 66-Year-Old Bike

An elderly woman got her bike stoled. Lots of sentimental value and the like. Very sad.

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Just...Wow: Racist Texan Representative Suggests Asians Should Change Their Names

...To make it easier to register to vote. I GOT A SOLUTION: I'M NOT GOING TO VOTE.

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Real-Life Spider-Man Rescues Autistic Child

Fireman dresses up as superhero to save autistic child with obsession over them.

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A**Hole Cop Prevents NFL Player From Seeing Dying Relative En Route to Hospital

Let the racist chants begin! Man. Just looking at that cop's picture pisses me off.

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Japan Certifies First Dual Atomic Bomb Survivor

Oh. That guy was screeeeewwwed.

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Scorpion Ancestor Had Gigantic Claw...On FACE?

So. Creepy.

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U.S. Athlete Makes U.S. Look Good. By Failing. No, Seriously.

Honestly, this is what I think the Olympics should be about. I know it's kinda cheesy, but giving up a gold medal because you recognize that you only won yours on a technicality? Kudos. KUDOS.

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Gays Eat Soup--Students Computers Rejected

I'm having this under odd news. Not politics. Because it's really just that ridiculous. The fabulous AFA has decided to reject Campbell's offering of charity because they advertise towards homosexuals. You know what's really gay? The AFA.

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Bush Advisors Speak Candidly About Failure

I really want to read this Vanity Fair article. I love reading about Bush's personal life. I hate his politics, and I'm not fond of him, but I AM fond of non-success.

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